Newsflash: Mommy Mafia

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/wayoflife/04/13/mommy.mafia.jen.klein/index.html

This newsflash is one that I thought, even though not immediate or as shocking or relevant as other headlines, caught my attention. This article acknowledges the kind of competition that occurs between mothers who are trying to gain the mother of the year award from their peers. Yet whats interesting about this phenomenon, is that women, instead of being able to to network with each other and help each other assume better roles as mothers, especially single-mothers, they are competing against each other. Women are so competitive, and we have seen it in so many aspects of women's lives, whether or not its on the abortion or porn debate, women have no been able to unify as a single group with a common cause since what seems like ever. This article struck me because what it suggests is that even on issues like motherhood, women still feel that they need to compete with others "enforcing local social structures and norms and judgers of all who dare do things differently. The mommy mafia can be brutal" wow it sounds like women are almost employing the same sort of patriarchal structure to express their duties of motherhood.

The upsetting part about this issue, is that while women become more empowered, whether it be through education or their careers, we have inherentley become more competitive, and its because we had too. We had to assimilate to be able to compete with men at the same level. But motherhood is something so special and specific to women, something that literally expresses out motherly instincts and sort of biological duty in life, yet it is something that women also have encorporated into the winning-game. Yet the funny part about this, is that there is no winner in the mommy-game, there is no one women who can single handedly, and universally, be called the best mother. Its a competition with no judges or rules, hardly a fair competition and one that should be used as a forum for women empowerment. The problem I see with this growing mommy-mafia, is that while more women decide to have careers, they feel the strain of being a mother more and more, and that can be seen in many cases all over the world. It is not uncommon. Yet the beauty of this issue is that its the perfect example of a moment where women need to empower themselves, and look at their past and present to make decisions on their own, and not for the mommy-mafia or the rest of the patriarchal world who is saying that you should have already lost those 20 lbs after your pregnancy.

I wonder if women are ever going to be able to come together and unify for a common cause. Being a woman in itself is something that if ordinary enough, we could all come together for. Yet because women vary in shape, size, beliefs, religions, etc. that unity is scarce. Yet if there is something that all women experience together, similarly and differently but basically equally, is motherhood, and I really believe that mothers should have more outlets to come together and learn from one another as opposed to competing against each other. I can only see this drift getting bigger and bigger, and eventually leading to more drifts because of competitiveness on issues with no real winner. First wave and second wave feminsts have struggled to unify women on common causes, and sometimes on just one cause, so I think what is important for 3rd wave generation feminsts is to be able to recognize that as we become more successful, we too will become more competitive, and it is important for us instead of drawing a line in the sand, to draw a circle and try to get everyone to step inside of it, regardless of their position, and try to work together for a common cause, give and take.